Conker's Bad Fur Day: It Was Also Live & Reloaded

 This time around I had a couple of ideas floating in my head. And what I landed on was a journey. A journey to finally hunker down and complete not just one game, but two. Those games are Conker's Bad Fur Day, and its remake, Conker: Live & Reloaded. Two titles where I never made it past the first couple of hours in my previous attempts. Yet now I am stronger. A human with a better tolerance for general gaming bullshit. Because that's what Conker was for me. Games in the Rare catalogue that weren't necessarily bad, but they also weren't good. 

This may sound harsh at the outset because, what's wrong with Conker? Each one functions as they should right? For the most part, yes. There wasn't really anything egregious that breaks the Conkers. BFD has some friction due to some old school jank, and Live & Reloaded fixes much of that. But that's just it. The games just do their jobs. Conker, and his world may be colorful, but playing the game was just too average. This was one of the reasons why I think L&R added enemy encounters. It adds a little something to a relatively standard game. But even that couldn't really get me to move forward in the past. I've had L&R for almost twenty years, and I just finished it for the first time. That seems pretty damning. So, let's talk about that Red Squirrel and his really long day.

Conker: Live & Reloaded was a childhood favorite I would say. While I didn't really care for the single player, I loved the multiplayer. Yeah, I could play Halo or something better, but it felt satisfying to run around the different maps against bots. Not to mention, you could name them. It was clear that the main sell of this game was the multiplayer. For the time, it worked for me. I spent way too long playing it. While it doesn't really do the original game's multiplayer justice. L&R made the most with its expansive third-person shooter multiplayer. But let's actually talk about the important bit now, the story. 

The script was virtually the same across both titles, with minor changes in the remake to signify a change in artistic design or gameplay. So, there's no need to talk about the games separately in that manner. The main difference really came from the art direction. Conker's Bad Fur Day was a colorful Nintendo 64 title that defied expectations with its crudeness, despite looking like a game for children. While Conker: Live & Reloaded displays the shift to a more realistic world. Less polygonal and blocky guys, and more fur textures. Where BFD was more cutesy and charming, L&R was more gross and mucky. The change worked for The Panther King, but not so much for Conker. There's give and take with them. 

This style clash became more evident when you looked at the opening cutscene of Conker leaving the bar. The original gave a more strung out look to Conker, while the remake looked to give him a mild hangover it seems. It's one of the things where I ultimately gave it to the original. The characters were just more expressive, and they play well to the game's tone and humor. As much as I like The Panther King's glow-up and the Tediz's redesigns, the new look was more of downgrade. It's funny because Conker's outfit changes were also a highlight for L&R. Alas, it wasn't enough. But to reiterate, this doesn't really affect the game's narrative. Conker was still as crude as all hell in both versions. The main difference lied in the presentation. One cartoony and colorful, one real and gross. 

Like, L&R has multiple anuses in the game. BFD never goes that far. Could be many reasons, but after going through both. It seems like a showcase of technical efforts. During the "It's War" Chapter, Conker accidentally electrocutes a Squirrel Soldier to near death. In BFD, the solider goes from grey to black. Depicting a cartoonish char you would've seen in a Looney Tunes episode. But in L&R, the scene was much longer and more grotesque. The soldier's eyes pop out, and his screams were much longer and horrifying. Now, he looks like he was actually electrocuted. It was definitely more in line with L&R's art direction. But it makes me wonder what this change felt like for developers, or fans even. The foundations were still there, but the interior had changed so much. 

I keep getting away from this story. But it's not like I'm avoiding it. The story of Conker was just not that interesting. The game excels in it's moments. And even the game itself doesn't really want to circle back to The Panther King and Professor Von Kriplespac. It felt like they were out of the narrative for half the game. No updates to be had, outside of a single cutscene with the Weasel Guards. But that doesn't feature them either. You'd think that the main villains would show up a bit more before the literal last part of the game, yet you'd be wrong. I remembered the Xenomorph being in the game, but had no idea that he'd usurp the final fight from The Panther King. It was one of the most disappointing things after trudging through the back-half. However, The Panther King does get brought back, in L&R, for the multiplayer bit at least. 

Ultimately, I think that Conker peaked at the "Barn Boys" Chapter. It felt like the perfect tutorial area, and the characters were all memorable. But Franky the Pitchfork and the Haybot were the standouts for me. Like yes, the big-breasted Sunflower was there, but I like those two infinitely more. They exemplified the best parts of Conker. With Franky being an enjoyable idiot, and the Haybot being a nice Terminator reference. It's cool as shit that a giant pile of hay turns into a missile-firing robot. But my favorite aspect was when he said, "Time to wander around. Aimlessly". That joke has always been funny to me. It made sense with his robotic nature, yet it also tied into his AI pathing. That is what NPCs do in video games, shoutouts to Chris Seavor and Robin Beanland for that insight. It's just so dry, and I love that shit. 

I've talked enough about the narrative wonder of Conker. It does what it wants at the expense of the player. Which was exactly where the game fell apart for me. It's one of the reasons why I wasn't able to finish it until recently. The games go from boring to unbearable in the later sections. Especially when discussing BFD. That version was just riddled with head scratching gameplay decisions. Any time a gun was involved, it felt like they didn't know how to make it fun or feel worthwhile. Remembering Jet Force Gemini on the N64, I can definitely see why. To have three chapters in a row with guns as the focal point or featured in a section was just torturous. Thankfully, L&R was designed with guns in mind. So a lot of those issues became alleviated. But I also played L&R first because I knew that BFD felt bad at times. I never actually intended to beat it, I just thought I should. 

That's the funniest thing. BFD was easier in every aspect, but then it all evens out with L&R because of the controls. The experience made me more and more grateful for controllers adding the right stick for camera controls. It's something that gets taken for granted. And then you have to play games with a shit camera and shooting mechanics. I still can't believe the biggest glow-ups from BFD TO L&R are pissing and the Matrix slow-mo sections. I sound crazy without any context, but I'm telling the truth. 

My verdict on Conker is that I would play a sequel. Just to get Berri back. I felt like she got shafted at the end of the game. Not to mention, I think having scenes with both Conker and Berri would be fun. The end of the game tells us that it can work. Also, I think that toning down the direct references, and sticking to homages fits Conker better. The Haybot and Don Weasel did more for the games than the Xenomorph. But this is something that can be said of any game. I'd rather see an interpretation than a direct rip. 

At the end of the day, my almost twenty year journey with Conker ended with me finding the games to be just fine. I think they have a good amount of charm, but fail to marry that charm with fun gameplay. It's one of those things where I really vibe with some of Rare's titles, but not others. It's also worth remembering that BFD was the fourth 3-D Platformer in as many years. And I would say they gradually just got worse over time. Where Donkey Kong 64 and Banjo Tooie suffered with bloat, Conker felt lacking. Looking at the finished products, would it have been better to add more? Maybe, maybe not. It wouldn't have hurt to try, yet did they even have the option. Regardless, I'd recommend them. Forming a unique opinion never hurt nobody. 

And remember to Free Palestine, Free Congo, Free Sudan, Free Venezuela and to Free Lebanon from the onslaught of their oppressors. Never stop talking about them. They think that we don't care, but we see everything. Never forget that. They are trying to suppress our voices because they matter, remember that. There may have been a ceasefire in Gaza, but Palestine still needs to be completely free.