Media Remakes: Just Do It Again

 The fast turn around of February means that I have less time to figure out what to talk about. But it just so happens that I do have something in mind. And that's Remakes in Media. This topic has become more and more prevalent in recent years as movies, games, and shows are recycled and redone. And to be clear, this is specifically about remaking, and not rebooting. But even the examples I have in mind skirt that line, so who really knows exactly. Regardless, while it's nice to get a shiny new coat paint on an old favorite. Sometimes I just feel tired looking at how the material gets treated. So, the goal for today is to talk about some media that I have engaged with and their remakes. 

For some context, the reason I wanted to talk about remakes again revolved around the rejected Bloodborne Remake that the now defunct Bluepoint Games had pitched. Like, it fucking sucks that the studio got shutdown, but I can't understand wanting to remake a game like Bloodborne. If anything, the game could use a performance update for a higher framerate, but that's about it. The game still looks amazing, and has an incredible art direction. What does the game gain from adding pores, and slightly better looking bricks? It felt more like trying to bring it up to speed with its imitators instead of making the next Bloodborne. And that's what makes a game like Bloodborne so inspirational. It's unique while stealing ideas from others at the same time. You can see the influences that gave it life. And with remakes, there aren't many instances to see that because they're only looking at the thing they're remaking, and not the influences.

So, that's enough Bloodborne talk. Let's talk about Death Race 2000. A movie that I can best describe as Wacky Races, but people die. Yet, it's much more than that. DR 2000, directed by Paul Bartel, was an adaptation of Ib Melchior's The Racer. While I'm not too sure on the source's details, I can say that the film version was a pretty blatant satire of the United States of America. Showcasing an annual sporting event where the drivers earn points based on the number and age group of the people they kill. It's televised, on the radio, and you could even attend in-person at your own discretion. While the government-funded event would have their dissenters, the media and general public would relish, and even worship, the racers. A concept so silly, that you might as well write it off. 

But that's the thing about DR 2000 that made it so good. This art was reflecting reality. The violence was a part of the American way. Why show a peaceful daily life, when you could instead depict carnage as normal. And I don't think you have to look too hard to see what I mean in the context of modern society. It's amazing to think about how the remake of this movie thought that it was about the race, and not a reflection of societies fascination with violence and the status quo. 

And so to give context for the remake starring Jason Statham, it's like I said. The whole film was about the actual Death Race. The characters were psychopaths who just loved killing. Much unlike the original cast that were depicted as normal people that were playing characters. This change just dilutes the message for me. No amount of Jason Statham dead wife openers will make me care about the characters actions and/or feelings like in the original. So, the remake ended up being a pale imitation that couldn't even be bothered to revere the thing it was remaking. 

Much like Death Race (2008), Luca Guadagnino's Suspiria (2018) chose to focus on a singular element  and change the rest. Thus removing the soul and ingenuity that was in Dario Argento and Daria Nicolodi's original. There's a lack of color, depictions of the occult, and music that made me question whether Guadagnino ever really cared. The film has a lot to say, but it never really goes anywhere with these threads. The physical and mental abuse of the dancers in the original gets replaced in a bizarre way where the actions of the dance school's practices are never really called into question. The blame all gets laid on the witch side, while neglecting the human element. It becomes more about leading factions, and less about then generational issues perpetuated by the coven. 

Not to mention, that the movie itself feels disconnected. Instead of living in that moment, it becomes a period piece. And I understand that it has to be to an extent, yet it bothers me with just how fake it felt. I've been disappointed by remakes before, but this one made a great case for simply not allowing them. Like, I still don't understand how the music just doesn't fit the idea of Suspiria, or how they cut whole characters out and made a new one that felt like they took up more screen time than the main character. Just layers upon layers issues that compound into a greyish blob. Just utterly dull and uninteresting. 

So go watch the Argento Suspiria (1977), where you can see Suzy (Played by Jessica Harper) lose her mind as she gets harassed by witches while the phenomenal Goblin score plays. Easily some of the best music in a Horror film bar none. They simply don't do it like this anymore.

But before I end this long rant, I got one more bone to pick. And that's with Stewart Hendler's Sorority Row, a remake of Mark Rosman's The House on Sorority Row. What's funny about this one, was the fact that the original movie wasn't even that good, but it had charm. It wasn't particularly nasty, and the characters felt personable. This became prevalent to me when looking at how the girls function after the prank. The girls in the original show discouragement and anguish at covering up the death of Dorothy Slater (Played by Lois Kelso Hunt), while the new cast, outside of the Cassidy (played by Briana Evigan) and Ellie (Played by Rumer Willis), move along like business as usual. Like, even Vicki (Played by Eileen Davidson), the troubled leader from the original, had a conscious while still filling the role of an antagonist. And that's ultimately how it goes with Hendler's version. Small details and nuances that continuously add up until it collapses in on itself.

And that's all I really have to say about The House on Sorority Row and its remake. The tone ended up being the real difference maker. It's most likely one of those things that can be blamed on movies like I What You Did Last Summer (1997), where the casts became unlikable and intolerable. Which is funny when you think about how The House on Sorority Row influenced that generation, and its own remake. Taking the wrong lessons and injecting cynicism became a sort of poison for quite a while. 

Ultimately, I am even moreso against the idea of remaking things in the modern day because of a lack of heart. People don't want to make Invasion of the Body Snatchers, or The Thing. They want to make Suspiria (2018) and drain the heart and soul from the art form. Leaving nothing more than a dry, dull husk in its wake. 

And remember to Free Palestine, Free Congo, Free Sudan, Free Venezuela and to Free Lebanon from the onslaught of their oppressors. Never stop talking about them. They think that we don't care, but we see everything. Never forget that. They are trying to suppress our voices because they matter, remember that. There may have been a ceasefire in Gaza, but Palestine still needs to be completely free.